How to ask wedding guests for RSVPs
When to ask for replies, what to ask and how to word it so that people really answer, with far less chasing by phone and message.
Collecting replies is one of the most nerve-racking parts of planning a wedding. There will be far less chasing by phone if the request is clear and replying takes a minute.
When should you ask for replies?
Venues and caterers often ask for the final numbers three to four weeks before the wedding. Set your own deadline one or two weeks earlier than that, so you have time for the stragglers. Send the invitation at least six weeks before the deadline.
What should you ask?
Only what you really need. The most common questions are:
- How many are coming? Ask guests to count partners and children too.
- Which menu would they like? If there is a choice.
- Do they have any food allergies or intolerances? This matters to your caterer.
- Do they need accommodation? If you are helping to arrange it.
A playful question can be useful too, for example: “Which song would you love to dance to?” The band or DJ will learn a lot from the answers.
The song question fits especially well with the Record Player invitation, where the programme is also shown as a playlist. For couples who love to travel, Boarding Pass asks for the reply as a passenger check-in.
How should you word it?
Be friendly and direct, and do not apologise for asking people to reply:
Please let us know by 20 August 2027 whether we can count on you.
Avoid lines such as “if we don’t hear from you, we’ll assume you can’t come”. In Envelopio invitations, replying is a single form. For each of your own questions you can choose whether only the guests who are coming see it.
To see exactly how replies work in Envelopio, have a look at the How it works page.
And if someone does not reply?
After the deadline, a short, kind message is usually enough. In your account you can see who has already replied (you can also download the replies as a spreadsheet), so it is easy to list who still needs a nudge.
